For eight years, I carried a grudge.

It started with a rift—a hurt so deep that I built a wall, convinced it was the only way to protect myself. I truly believed I would never forgive her, let alone like her again. In my mind, the narrative was set: she had no place in my life, and keeping her out was simply the safest, smartest choice. I held onto that grudge like armor, wearing it day after day until hating or disliking her just became realitity.

Then, everything shifted.

I was watching a video about Charlotte, listening as Binny and Yiddy spoke. There was something about their words, their sincerity, and the raw truth in what they both shared that hit me right in the chest. A very strong realization washed over me: What am I holding onto? What is this grudge actually giving me?

The answer was nothing. Holding onto bitterness wasn’t fixing the past, nor was it making my present any better. It wasn’t protecting me; it was just keeping a door permanently locked that didn’t need to be. Life is far too fragile and short to carry eight years of resentment.

Last week, I decided to take a step I thought I would never take in a million lifetimes. I got into my car and made the several hour trip to the person I had spent almost a decade pushing away.

When I arrived, we spent the whole day together. The walls didn’t just crack they literally crumbled. Sitting across from her, talking, and simply being present, I felt a burden lift off my shoulders that I hadn’t even realized was pressing down on me for eight years.

If you had told me a month ago that I would be actively learning to love someone I once couldn’t stand, I would have never believed you. But here I am. Someone I held so much friction against is now someone I am for real coming to like and appreciate. Forgiveness didn’t just change how I view her—it gave me back my own inner shalom!