I was waiting in line at a cafe to order. Completely out of nowhere something hit me HARD in the back of the head near the base of the neck. My vision went black for a second and then I was completely discombobulated and dizzy. It turned out there was a homeless woman behind me, an addict and/or severely mentally ill. And, she had punched me in the head completely out of nowhere with no warning or words exchanged. She was arrested shortly after.

For the next month I got severe migraines from speaking or being around any noise for more than 15 minutes. My jaw locked pushing into my ear canal. Everything made me dizzy and nauseous, my emotions were completely out of whack, and I could not feel any connection to Hashem or anyone around me. I was sacred to have people stand or walk behind me. I couldn’t exercise or do anything fun. For months and months I was dizzy, nauseous, frustrated and angry. I learned that the woman had assaulted someone 12 days before me and when she was arrested after assaulting me, she was let out of jail that same day and didn’t show up to her court appearance.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t help feeling so much anger and frustration not only towards the woman who hurt me but also towards Hashem. I knew He had a plan for me and I was so grateful it wasn’t worse (I could have been paralyzed if she hit me any lower). But with my brain chemistry instantly botched, I was finding it extremely difficult to connect spiritually and feel any sense of trust in G-d. My head felt disconnected to my heart.

After about 6 months the symptoms had significantly improved and I was mostly better, but still struggling with my connection to Hashem. Over time it improved little by little but the head heart connection has not fully returned and feelings of anger not fully subsided. It is now about year after the incident and when I heard this story yesterday, a channel inside of my heart opened and my mind immediately went to the women who punched me. For the first time despite a year of trying, with tears running down my face, I truly felt love towards her. I’m wishing her the best and sending her love, strength, and peace with all of my heart and neshema.

Emotions are so complex but sharing this story shows that not everything is black and white, out of tragedy we can create love and peace that can overcome any darkness!