I was going through the process of landing a new job and was offered the position BH. The owner of the company sent me an email when she offered the job with the offer letter attached and stated that if I had questions about the offer (which I did) then she’d be happy to schedule a time to speak, so I took her up on that, prior to accepting the offer. I spent the time intricately writing my words, as to not come off as ungrateful and stated how I was thankful and how much it means, then asked for when works to speak on the phone.
About 30 minutes go by and all of a sudden I get a text message that was sent to a whatsapp group for the industry we are in, with well over 500 people in it. It was the person who offered me the job, and the message was a screenshot of my email (it had my name in it), with her text message on the bottom, mocking something I said in the email. It took me about 5 seconds to realize what had happened and when I did realize, my heart started racing and I felt my face become dark red from embarrassment. My first thought was message her privately to please take it down and make her aware that she sent it to a massive public group chat. After 10 minutes she saw the message and immediately deleted it. She answered me shortly after that she meant to send it to her business partner and accidentally sent it to this big group chat and asked for me to forgive her. I spent the next few minutes thinking about what to respond to her, being that it was extremely hurtful and embarrassing and I wanted to choose my words very carefully as to not say the wrong thing in the moment.
Before I had the opportunity to reply, I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. It was her husband and he said she gave him my number to reach out and ask me for mechila, because she was too devastated to do so. I was about to go off on him and then it hit me. I remembered about Charlotte and the Herzberg family’s story. Her sending it to the group chat was 100% a mistake, but the lashon hara about me and mocking my email was not. Even so, I told him that I saw this video over Tisha Bav and thought to myself while watching that I wondered if given the opportunity to hold a grudge against someone or forgive and let it go, what will I choose? It’s easy to say the latter, but when push comes to shove, in the moment, you really need to make the conscious decision after being insulted, embarrassed, and wronged. I told her husband that this is my chance and in merit of Charlotte I am choosing to 100% forgive his wife for what had happened, and he should tell her that. I then replied to her text message that not to worry, I am mochel her.
At the end of the day, who am I to hold a grudge? I’ve wronged people before, as has everybody. Mistakes happen and people regret things. I’m not going to pretend that I’m perfect, and if it brings one more reason for Hashem to smile, seeing his children get along and letting things go, then it is something I am glad to have been able to accomplish in my heart. Ultimately I decided to decline the offer and not move ahead with her company, but I still do forgive her wholeheartedly.
This was all because of the video I saw, highlighting the amazing character, special madraiga, and emunah and bitachon which the Herzberg family has displayed. It was so extremely inspiring and eye opening!
Tizku Lmitzvot and I hope that with each passing day and story of shalom that comes in, in merit of Charlotte and the Herzberg family, it brings more and more nechama!
